I’ve often thought about how it is our behavior since parents teach our kids. They will model us in precisely what we do. We educate them on how to react to other folks. We teach them the moral code. And we educate them on how to treat people. And we teach them most of their self-image. I read a Dear Abby column about this that resonated with me. In it, a parent lamented about having to pay for fat-free popcorn in a movie and didn’t want to understand why it was wrong to be able to sneak their own in. Now I am quoting it as part of a reply to that issue here:
There was a time when I would teach a parenting type to parents who had young children in trouble with the law. My partner and I started by asking, “How many of you teach children to lie, cheat as well as steal? ” Of course, no one admitted they did. I then acquired about 20 items We would list, the movie food challenge being one, driving within the speed limit, and so on. No less than one of the 20 applied to most people. Then I’d say: “You taught your kids that it was ALL RIGHT to lie, cheat in addition to steal – it’s simply getting caught that’s negative. That’s why you are in my school today. ” (Precious Abby column).
Another article writer goes on to say that educating children to cheat about this particular issue teaches those to generalize that it’s okay to be able to cheat anytime that they may agree with the rules. And I agree with the fact! I have seen so many who also do that…
It’s okay to be able to cheat when the teacher makes the actual test too hard (even inside the university).
It’s okay to appreciate it when you’re only 16, as the law is just stupid (and people in Germany take action, right? ).
So why are parents usually surprised when their particular kids justify it getting okay to sneak away from home at night or break some other rules the parents make if your parent demonstrates that it’s all right to break a rule (or law) that you just don’t think is fair?
What we teach our youngsters is how they will conduct themselves. Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend the consequences of our actions. My partner and I agree with “Susie” (the respondent ) above. Bear in mind we view our actions and how we justify our reasons to ourselves in what most of us do; our children will look at things more objectively, in addition, to internalizing these actions not having realized what they are doing. Like they then build this in their overall moral code when they grow and develop may reflect their behavior throughout their lives. Yes, we could develop new moral unique codes as we grow and develop, regardless of our age. Yet early in life – since children, youths, and youth – our moral computer code is developed mainly from everything we see modeled around people. And it has long been established that the number one influence in an infant’s development is the parents of this child.
We often overlook our small actions – our language – after we are surprised when our kids reflect this in their behavior. It is our responsibility as parents to lead by instance. And this isn’t always simple. We must be constantly aware. And we must be conscious of our reasons for acting in our chosen techniques.
Examining each of our reasons for how we behave, which include such “little” things while sneaking food into a movie theater, is essential. And we must also keep in mind how these acts are generally viewed on a larger, public scale. If society overall views something as thieving, then perhaps we should browse through why it is thieving. Are we infringing when someone’s living? In the case of cinemas, yes, we are. They obtain very little profit (if any) from the movies themselves because the ticket costs only include the cost of the movie and the staff to operate which film. They make their money (and cover their rent, expense of staffing, etc . ) through the add-ons in the cinema. This means the popcorn and pop are sold at extremely high prices.
My kids like the cinema! We don’t get it very often, as it is high-priced. But I lower which cost a little bit by purchasing offenses from AMA since they will sell packages at a discount. And it involves their treatment. Yes, the idea cost the three of us similar to $35 to go, even with the discount. But it’s more than worth it for a fun afternoon or maybe an evening out with my little ones. And we don’t bring additional snacks or drinks to the cinema.
I try continuously to think about the moral effects of my behavior. As a parent, we are diligent about how our actions will train our kids to act. I am not always successful at becoming the best I can be. You will find things that irritate me, and I sometimes let that obtain the best of me. Part of coping with this is our “bad words” jar. My son enjoys this and will call me personally on it at any time he can.
It will help me to be a responsible mother or father. And it helps to make the kids aware of what we price as part of our moral codes. Part of the bad words which might be included in that is anytime an individual call someone else in the household a lousy name or affirms “I don’t like you! very well or “I hate anyone! “. And it includes painful phrases, such as “You’re not necessarily pretty. ” (My kid does this to bug the sister. He’s learning not to ever, though. ). And it involves any acts of violence or maliciousness.
I’ve experimented with grounding my kids just for this kind of behavior. It doesn’t work. So we added the idea to the jar. And it makes these people both more aware of their very own behavior. One thing that was formerly on it was that the children who were hurt would make the actual penalty – a dime, a dime, a quarter. But the son started insisting on the dollar, which was delivered null. I now make the charges fit the level of the criminal offense (so to speak).
Could it be working? There is a mixed achievement with this. It has eliminated any need for me to yell. And that lowers the stress level. It has reduced the fights between children. It has eliminated vow words from my children and me. It has reduced the level of teasing. It has improved the awareness of what everybody says to each other in the house. This is slowly becoming less mindful – more of a habit within the behavior. It has increased the need to arbitrate some disputes and teasing; the kids will probably run to me over almost any little thing now. We can deal with that, although If only I didn’t have to. I’d like to see them settle their variances more amicably and on their own personal. I need to find a better way to do this.
But it does help my family to realize that by recreating the behavior I want my very own kids to learn and replicate, I am teaching them considerably better. And they are learning what it means to be good to one another and robust as a family.
And it is just one little thing that helped me become more aware of my actions in all instances, even when my kids are with their mothers. And that is the most important thing! Remember, our children see our actions. And it is from us they get their guidance and build their codes for existing – behavior and values.
Read also: How Kids Decals Make Learning Fun!